Wendy's Whimseys: Wilma

A Doll Mystery Solved

The Real Story of what Happened to Wilma

"There were whispers in the bathroom last night. I heard Lily and Aquamarine talking about it. And I'm sure they should know to be discreet with our child about the house! He could have been awake, needing another drink of water!" she whispered angrily to her husband, Aladdin.

"This drama is causing far too much of a ruckus. And it's all due to Babs and that flashy guy. I learned my lesson. So why can't she just settle down and get her act together? Those two think they are so sneaky. I knew someone would get hurt...I just couldn't believe it was Wilma. Who would 've thought...shh..shh..."

The dolls stiffened into position at the approach of a human, pretending to be about their normal business. But Wendy wasn't fooled. She didn't let on that she had heard them, however. After a cup of coffee at the computer, she decided to innocently clean the bathroom - just in case they had company or... something.

As she cleaned, she noticed Aquamarine seemed unusually observant of her work. When she reached the tub, Aquamarine visibly gripped her bowl brush a little tighter. There it was - around the rim of the tub - a ring of bubble bath. There was also a ring of rust around the drain that took quite a bit of elbow grease to remove...time to call for a water softener? Moving on to scour the sink there glared a smear of red lipstick near the soap dish. It wasn't Wendy's color. Hmm... Surreptitiously, using a clean piece of tissue, Wendy swabbed the smear and casually pocketed the evidence.

"Boy - what a dirty tub! Who forgot to rinse it?" Aquamarine mumbled something about not knowing for sure, but that Lily had perhaps been practicing swimming in bubbles again.

Lily... Wendy went to talk to Lily, who was flitting about doing the backstroke in the air.

"Hijack. How are you doing?"

"Swimmingly!" replied Lily.

"Look, if you use the tub, please rinse it. What were you practicing?"

"Oh, the crawl...sorry. I just love that new bubble bath - the bounciest bubbles yet!" Lily liked to pretend she was swimming by floating on the bubbles.

"New bubble bath?" Wendy questioned.

"Yes, the one Babs...um...found for me..." Lily spluttered, knowing she had said too much already.

"Oh, I bet she found it in the hall closet?"

"Probably..." Lily flitted off.

A look into the hall closet confirmed Wendy's suspicion. The toiletries gift pack she had received and been saving was now pawed through. Inside was a jar of bubble bath, only half-filled now. Only Babs would be so extravagant with bubble bath. There was also a tube of bright red lipstick, the cap askew. It matched the tissue sample perfectly. As Wendy turned, evidence in hand, she almost bumped right into the Wicked Witch of the West, who was scowling more than usual.

"I see you've found her out." she cackled. "Good." Wicked didn't like Babs. It went with her motto "I'll get you my pretty." And Babs was definitely pretty.

"So Babs was having a bubble bath?" Wendy inquired, still unsure of the connection between Babs and Wilma's misfortune.

"Ha. You could call it that. More like a bribery bath."

Wicked didn't mince her words and didn't care who she ratted out. Wendy usually didn't appreciate this, but there are exceptions to every rule.

"Who was Babs bribing? Lily?"

"Well, yes and Tin Man, her latest fancy. Trying to get her hands on Dorothy's ruby slippers. I told her I've tried all sorts of tricks, nothing works. But there was Tin Man, with that do-gooder heart of his going into overtime... rusty old fool. She talked him into a romantic bubble bath and then left him rusted up with Lily to keep him from drowning while Babs stole off with Dorothy's shoes. Those pretty girls and their sneaky ways! Not that Dorothy should have the shoes..." Wicked suddenly left, shrieking for her monkey guard.

There was Tin Man, rusted into place. Dorothy was nearby, shoeless, and notably not coming to his rescue with an oil can. Wendy did him the honors with a few drops to the jaw.

"Fess up." she ordered. "How did this rust happen?"

"Oh, this darn heart...more trouble than it's worth sometimes..." he moaned. "Babs talked me into bubbles - said I'd get all shiny and - then she told Lily she could have the bubbles if she stayed with me...Wilma had to fly me back because I rusted right up - Babs was wrong, the bubbles didn't stop the rusting at all...and I'm sure not very shiny..." Tin Man hung his head, abashed.

Dorothy pouted, but it wasn't difficult to convince her to talk seeing as Wendy had most of the story by now.

"Yes. The shoes are gone. That one there went head over heels - and the heels went off in my ruby slippers. And no one, not even Wilma, could stop Babs. She was just awful. Luring Tin Man away so I was helpless and alone...what with Scarecrow & Lion being away... And then Wilma...when she tried to stop her..." Dorothy broke down into sobs at the mention of her dear friend Wilma's name. "Wilma was always so kind to Toto, you know..."

"Yes, yes. There now... How did Wilma try to stop Babs?" Wendy tried to console Dorothy but keep her talking.

"She went to get Tin Man back here, but he was all rusted. Then Wilma tried to protect me herself. But Babs was too quick. And when Wilma got in her way...oh, heavens, I can't even talk about it...", Dorothy wailed.

It was time to confront Babs. All fingers were pointing to her. Babs was primping in the mirror, but jumped at Wendy's approach. "Oh, didn't expect you!" she yelped. She saw the lipstick smear and bubble bath jar and grimaced.

"Obviously." Wendy pointed to the ruby slippers. "Hand them over."

"I needed some red shoes to go with this outfit...Tango woman there wouldn't give me both shoes... then I was talking to Ruby and it clicked... the perfect shoes to coordinate this outfit!... I can't be barefoot all the time...and really, ruby red and blue gingham?...Miss Pigtails ought to be grateful to me for being the fashion police!" Babs kicked the shoes off, muttering something about them being too big and floppy for her dainty feet anyway.

At this point, Wicked spun into view, snatched up the ruby slippers and almost made her get-away...but Wendy caught her by her cape. "Not so fast."

They were all there now...Babs, Wicked, Aquamarine, Lily, Aladdin and his wife, Dorothy and even rusty Tin Man.

Wendy tried to summarize the evidence. "So, Babs was bubble bathing and wooing Tin Man to get a clear shot at Dorothy's ruby slippers...and Wilma intervened?"

"She was lecturing Babs and Tin Man. She was trying to warn him against trusting Babs..." Aquamarine informed.

"Yes." Dorothy sobbed. "And then Babs...she..."

"She tried to get rid of Wilma!" Lily chimed in, deserting Babs in the face of adversity. Bubbles are rather ephemeral bases for a lasting bribe.

"By clicking the heels of the slippers and wishing Wilma back in her doorway." Aquamarine added, relieved that finally her friend Lily had redeemed herself somewhat with the other dolls.

"So how did Wilma end up cracked on the floor?" Wendy asked Babs, angrily.

"Well, it wasn't really my fault." Babs protested. "I was wishing her back to her doorway, but then I noticed all that clicking was chipping at the heels of the slippers...so I stopped ...I was just trying to keep them nice."

"And Wilma went crashing to the ground as soon as Babs stopped clicking. It was horrid." Dorothy spluttered.

"You ought to send her away!" Aladdin yelled.

"To Siberia!" his wife added.

"Well, Siberia is awfully far away... sort of expensive postage..."

"Ok, then to Minnesota. Cold enough!" Aquamarine suggested, having pulled up an online atlas. "And then no more primping in and messing up my bathroom..."

"No more messing with my heart." Tin Man added.

"Or my slippers." Dorothy managed.

"Or setting such a bad example. There are children in this house!" Aladdin's wife exclaimed.

"Send her away! Send her away!!!" the dolls were all demanding now.

Babs was quite disturbed. "Minnesota! Oh, what a backwater."

Wendy was still upset about Wilma's fall, but she knew Babs being Babs hadn't really meant any harm. She had been talking to Ruby...it figures. But, harm had been done. Babs would have to be sent away to keep the peace. Wendy took her aside. "Look, we'll find you a good part of Minnesota. Look at this map. There's a town here: Golden Valley. Sounds perfect for you." Wendy said quietly to Babs.

Babs sniffed prettily. "Well, it's not so bad sounding...but...but...hey! Does this mean I'd get to wear a faux fur coat?!" Babs started to read a little about Minnesota. "And they don't have sales tax on clothing or shoes...and there's the Mega Mall...and..." Babs raced off to pack, her voice trailing behind her.

Story submitted by Stefanie Freeman, Golden Valley, MN

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