In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful young woman
>> >was
>> >>>waiting for the bus. She was dressed in a tight leather mini skirt
>> >>with
>> >>>matching tight leather boots and jacket. After the bus rolled up and
>> >>it
>> >>>was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight
>> >>>to
>> >>>allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus.
>> >>> Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she
>> >>>reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this
>> >>>would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again she tried to make
>> >>>the
>> >>>step onto the bus only to discover she still couldn't. So, a little
>> >>more
>> >>>embarrassed she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt
>> a
>> >>>little more and for a second time attempted the step. But to  her
>> >>>chagrin,
>> >>>she still could not raise her leg. So, with a coy little smile to the
>> >>>driver, she again unzipped the offending skirt to give a little more
>> >>>slack
>> >>>and again was unable to make the step.
>> >>>
>> >>> About this time the big Texan who was behind her in the line picked
>> >>her
>> >>>up
>> >>>easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the first step of the
>> >>>bus.
>> >>>Well, she went ballistic and turned around to the would-be hero
>> screeching
>> >at
>> >>>him
>> >>>"How dare you touch my body!! I don't even know who you are!"
>> >>>>
>> >>>>  At this the Texan drawled "Well ma'am, normally I would agree with
>> >>you.
>> >>>>  But after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda' figured that
>> we
>> >>was
>> >>>friends."



 A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Von Bernuth,
 and sat down to explain his problem.
 
 "Doctor, doctor!" he started.
 
 "No need to repeat yourself, my good man," replied the doctor.  "One
 'doctor' is enough."
 
 "Yes, well, you see, I've got this problem," the man continued.  "I keep
 hallucinating that I'm a dog.  A large, white, hairy Pyrenees mountain dog.
 It's crazy.  I don't know what to do!"
 
 "A common canine complex," said the doctor soothingly.  "Come over here and
 lie down on the couch."
 
 "Oh no, Doctor.  I'm not allowed up on the furniture."



A couple had been married for several years and had 6 children.  Every time
the husband introduced his wife to someone, he would say that she was the
mother of 6. She hated hearing this but nothing she said to him would stop him
from saying it.  One night they were at a party with several high class
people, when it was time to leave the husband couldn't see his wife anywhere.
He started calling out"oh mother of 6, where are you" several times, when from
the other side of the crowded room he heard her say, " I'm over here father of
4"

A 93 year old women's husband died and she became very depressed.  She decided
that life wasn't worth living any more and that she would kill herself. She
wanted to be sure to go quickly, so she called the doctor to find out where
her heart was located.  He told her just under her left breast.  The next day
she was in the emergency room for a gunshot to the left knee.