Effter muny deys ooff fleepping peges, checkeeng und re-a-checkeeng tebles, rulleeng deece-a und bungeeng my heed egeeenst fereeuoos leterel und medeeel soorffeces, I cun feenelly unnuoonce-a zee cumpleshun ooff zee vreeting stege-a ooff zee Ceety ooff zee Deed edfentoore-a. My iyes boorn und my feengers eche-a. Deece-a ere-a speenning in my heed, und I cun elmust recell inture-a blucks ooff text frum zee Doongeun Mester's Gooeede-a.

Boot iff it's 1/10t es mooch foon roonneeng it es it hes beee vreeting it, it's gueeng tu be-a a blest. Um de hur de hur de hur.

Fur foorzeer qooesshuns, cumments und zee sooch, imeeel me-a (zee Merqooees doo Jerud), und I'll ettempt tu unsver yuoor qooesshuns, reply tu yuoor cumments und rebooke-a yuoor creeticisms veet ixtreme-a prejoodeece-a.

Yes, I'fe-a chunged zee furmet a leettle-a. Ookey, a lut. Um de hur de hur de hur. Thees pege-a is leeed oooot useeng a style-a sheet vheech zeeureteecelly veell meke-a it ieseeer tu edd stooffff. It elsu luuks a leettle-a neecer. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Let me-a knoo vhet yuoo theenk. (Oor iff yuoo feend uny brukee leenks)

I'm vurkeeng oon a funcy teetle-a, boot coorrently yuoo need zee Rooreetunia funt in oorder tu see-a zee teetle-a ber deespleyed currectly. Bork bork bork! Thees is elsu zee funt I'fe-a used fur zee Seesuns ooff Chunge-a pege-a vheech yuoo cun leenk tu frum zee ber oon zee reeght. Um de hur de hur de hur.

I velcume-a qooesshuns, cumments und creeticisms. Um gesh dee bork, bork!

~Merqooees doo Jerud

Zee Merqooees here-a egeeen. Bork bork bork! Joost vreeting tu repurt thet I'fe-a poot up zee Emeltheeun Deeely Noos erteecles vheech shuoold be-a elsu leenkeble-a frum zee leettle-a teg oon zee tup ooff zee menoo tu zee lefft. Um de hur de hur de hur.

I'fe-a elsu edded unuzeer foo erteecles. Um gesh dee bork, bork! I theenk I'll be-a mure-a thun reedy tu roon zee Ceety ooff zee Deed edfentoore-a in Epreel. Uny qooesshuns, cumments cun be-a sent tu me-a here-a.

In zee feenel updete-a under Teem, zee Erchbeeshup vrute-a:

In zee must recent ipeesude-a, Semmerun und Melkur cunclooded thet zee Necrumunteec scrull frum Krynn, oonce-a infuked, ected es a beecun, urgeeng cuntect betveee ell undeed und zee cester (in Krynn, thees is dune-a by tuoocheeng zee suoolstreem. Zeen zee chusee undeed ere-a drevn elung zee streem tu zee cester). Seence-a nu suoolstreem ixeests in zee reelm, zee deestunt cell thruoogh zee suoolstreem ected es a soobcunceeuoos urgunce-a, und zee meeniuns ooff decey heeded fur zee suoorce-a tu eveeet chuuseeng. It ves uncerteeen vhet cuoold be-a dune-a tu stup zeem, und zeeur merch ecruss zee lunds, boot it certeeenly needed tu stup. Perheps cumpleteeng zee incunteshun (chuuseeng un undeed veethin runge-a, und cumleteeng zee cest) vuoold render zee scrull inert. Um de hur de hur de hur. Oonly teeme-a vuoold tell. Semmerun prepered heemselff fur zee cumeeng incunteshun, es Melkur rested up fur zee pusseeble-a necrumunteec bettle-a.

Meunvheele-a, zee relly ves a deesester. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Zee keendgums peuple-a gezeered ooootseede-a zee pellece-a tu shuoot preeese-a tu zeeur keeng. Es zee crood begun tu chunt, und shuoot, und cheer zee untheenkeble-a heppenned. Bork bork bork! Zee pellece-a gooerds cherged in, und begun tu slooghter zee edureeng messes! oonly 1/2 ooff thuse-a vhu vent tu zee relly mede-a it oooot eleefe-a. Zee keeng moost be-a med. Bork bork bork! Es zee vuoonded peuple-a retoorned tu toon, Renerd spuke-a veet zee meyur. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! He-a cunfeenced zee meyur tu gezeer hees peuple-a, und ifecooete-a zee toon beffure-a zee ruyel meellitia erreefed tu cleun up. Zee peuple-a vere-a tured, und effreeed. Bork bork bork! Ifentooelly, Sgt Benur tuuk cherge-a, und led zee peuple-a beck iest, tu zee feellege-a thet zee perty hed freed frum zee bundeets. Um gesh dee bork, bork!

Et zee seme-a teeme-a, Teemoos erreefed tu get Lung Tvun's unsver fur Reetun. He-a ves eccumpuneeed by 10 ooff Reetuns persunel gooerd. Bork bork bork! Zee perty tuld Teemoos thet sumetheeng ves vrung, und tu be-a cereffool. Zeey seeed thet Zeey hed nu idea vhere-a Tvun hed gune-a, boot thet he-a meeght be-a et zee muestery gruoonds. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Teemoos heeled sume-a ooff zee lucel vuoonded, und zeen cherged ooffff tooerd zee munestery. Bork bork bork! Renerd und Serepheena fullooed nut lung beheend. Bork bork bork!

Et zee munestery, Teemoos greeted Tvun veet a hoog, und seeed thet he-a ves zeere-a fur zee unsver. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Reetun ves ieger tu begeen rebooeelding. Lung Tvun unsvered thet he-a hed deceeded tu rebooeeld, boot thet he-a vuoold nut need zee help ooff Reetun. It ves tu be-a a pruject fur zee noo stoodents. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Teemoos smeeled, und heeded oooot tu deleefer zee unsver. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Frum ebufe-a gruoond, Teemoos mede-a a stertled suoond, und shreeeks vere-a heerd frum a hurse-a. Oone-a ooff zee gooerds hed toorned intu a lerge-a red demun, und ture-a zee hurse-a in tvu! Reetuns gooerds vere-a epperently oonee, frum zee iest, cume-a tu hoont doon Tvun.

Es 2 ooff zee oonee intered zee besement, Lung Tvun led zeem intu zee sereees ooff munk testeeng gruoonds, und pruceedeeng tu meke-a fuuls ooff zeem in a fetel skurmeesh. Dooreeng thees teeme-a, Semmerun ixpereemented veet hees noo spell, megeec jer. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Es loock vuoold hefe-a it, Semmerun kept pussesseeng zee budeees ooff zee oonee es Tvun ves lundeeng a cuoop de-a grece-a. Thees veell prubebly hoont Semmeruns neeghtmeres fur veeks tu cume-a.

Up tup, Renerd und Serepheena erreefed, joost in teeme-a tu eeed Teemoos, vhu ves boosy veet 8 oonee ooff hees oovn. Bork bork bork! Zee bettle-a ves herd fuooght, boot in zee ind zee perty ves feecturiuoos. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Zee lest ooff zee oonee ves qooesshuned, und tuld thet zeey ceme-a fur zee "lest ooff zee Lungs". Zeey vuoold nefer stup cumeeng unteel he-a ves deed. Bork bork bork! Zeey felt he-a knoo inuoogh tu be-a dungeruoos tu zeem beck hume-a.

Thet ifeneeng, reffoogees frum zee neerby feellege-a gezeered oon zee munestery gruoonds fur prutecshun. Zee vefe-a ooff undeed ves neer, und Sgt Benur hed steyed beheend tu huld zeem es lung es he-a cuoold. Bork bork bork! By murneeng, velkeeng curpses vere-a seee imergeeng frum zee tree-a leene-a frum zee iest fur es fer es zee iye-a cuoold see-a. Melkur prepered a deesentigrete-a spell, es Semmerun chunneled zee scrulls megeecs, und cumpleted zee cesteeng. Iech ooff zee three-a spells oon zee scrull ves cest. Um de hur de hur de hur. Iech soommuned a prugresseefely lerger munster frum zee messes eheed (vheech Renerd ves reedy fur, und prumptly hecked zeem tu peeeces). Iech cest oopenned Semmeruns suool tu zee suoolstreem ooff krynn, und teeented heem foorzeer. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Et lest zee scrull ves ixhoosted, Semmerun ves "tuooched" by zee suoolstreem, und must ooff zee undeed ieezeer cullepsed, oor vundered eeemlessly. Bork bork bork! Zee feeoo ooff zee keengdum ves seeckening. Hooge-a veenged, oone-a-iyed beests curcled zee ceety, shreeeking, und ieteeng zee zumbeees. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Zee keengdum ves ell boot cunsoomed by zee oonee, und undeed. Bork bork bork! Zee perty deceeded tu leefe-a zee erea fur a feceshun.

Zee Merqooees doo Jerud here-a, joost letteeng yuoo knoo thet I'fe-a mufed ell ooff 2003 intu un ercheefe-a (see-a here-a), und I'fe-a tekee oooot ell zee Emeltheeun Deeely Noos erteecles und em gueeng tu plece-a zeem in zeeur oovn sput (vheech veell be-a leenked frum zee "Letest EDN Updete-a" leenk in zee culoomn tu zee lefft. Um de hur de hur de hur.)

Fur thuse-a ooff yuoo vhu vere-a hefeeng prublems eccesseeng zee seete-a, I'm nut soore-a vhy. Bork bork bork! It mey hefe-a beee zee ixcesseefe-a seeze-a ooff zee beckgruoond imege-a thet I hed used (thees hes beee currected) oor yuoor ISP meeght hefe-a gremeelns. Um gesh dee bork, bork! I dun't knoo. Hupeffoolly, it veell vurk better noo.

Erchbeeshup Teem cleeemed zee fullooeeng oon hees 1040:

Heeding oooot in a cefe-a neer zee toon ooff Fellentheea, perty suld ooffff sume-a joonk, upgreded zeeur iqooeepment, und spent teeme-a treeening up zeeur skeells. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Vheele-a Serepheena ves preffurmeeng in zee toon center (elung veet 2 oozeer berds, vhu freqooented zee sput), zeere-a ves a yuoong mun in zee beck ooff zee crood geefing a speech ebuoot zee incumpetence-a ooff zee keeng, und zee ifeel ooff thuse-a vhu suooght tu muneepoolete-a zee ruyel femeely. Bork bork bork!

Beffure-a zee crood hed a chunce-a tu get vurked up, Reetun und hees guuns erreefed. Bork bork bork! He-a tuld thet it ves trooe-a. Zee keeng ves sooffffereeng greet stress es ooff lete-a, und thet zeere-a vere-a thuse-a vhu vere-a ettempteeng tu muneepoolete-a heem fur zeeur oovn geeen. Bork bork bork! Reetun, hooefer, cleeemed tu be-a trooe-a tu zee thrune-a, und svurn tu prutect it by uny meuns-ifee hees leeffe-a. He-a infeeted zee messes tu jueen heem oon zee fullooeeng dey tu relly ooootseede-a zee pellece-a, und shoo sooppurt fur zee truoobled keeng.

Reetun sent Teemoos veet a messege-a tu Lung Tvun. "Zeere-a hes beee a terreeble-a meesteke-a. Iff yuoo su desure-a, Lurd Reetun veell hefe-a zee munestery rebooeelt, veet yuoo es zee mester. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! It veell zeere-a remeeen under zee prutecshun ooff zee keeng."

Effter cunferseeng veet hees mester, Lung Tvun ves geefee hees mesters sesh. Mester Yussep blessed Lung Tvun, und seeed thet he-a hed heerd frum Eergoos ebuoot a lust islund ooffff ooff zee vest cuest celled Efelun. Bork bork bork! He-a vuoold trefel zeere-a, treeen noo furces, und retoorn tu free-a zee reelm frum Reetuns tyrunny. Bork bork bork!

Vunteeng tu test hees skeells, Lung Tvun recrooeeted Semmerun, und Thedeoos tu jueen heem. Zeey trefeled beck tu zee seete-a ooff zee munestery, tu cleer oooot zee besement. Um de hur de hur de hur. It ves upun erreefel thet Semmerun sev zee seegn et zee besement steur vreettee in ercune-a lettereeng... "necrumuncy cless in sesseeun"!

Immedeeetely in zee besement, zee perty ves ettecked by zee skeletun ooff un edoolt red dregun! Lung Tvun gut a leettle-a ture-a up, boot Semmerun ves qooeeck tu respund veet cummund undeed. Bork bork bork! Buney hed jueened zee perty. Bork bork bork!

bettleeng zeeur vey pest zee ungry spureets ooff zee munks vhu deeed here-a, und ifee zee reburt ooff zee veezerd thet zee perty hed deffeeted in zee prefeeuoos sesseeun (Sqooeeb, zee perty fempure-a, hed loonched oon zee fellee veezerd, und noo it ves hees spevn). Ifentooelly, zee perty reeched zee leebrery, und sev Melkur, Semmeruns gooeeldmester petteeng Flooffffy. Bork bork bork! Rezeer thun etteckeeng (Lung Tvuns usooel oopee egeeenst unytheeng thet mufes under its oovn pooer), zee perty spuke-a veet heem ebuoot vhy he-a ves here-a.

Seence-a zee retoorn frum Krynn, Semmerun hed a necrumunteec scrull frum thet vurld. Bork bork bork! Vheele-a beeeng stoodeeed in zee gooeeld, unsteble-a megeecs vere-a unleeshed. Bork bork bork! Undeed begun gezeereeng et zee gooeeldhuoose-a frum ell oofer zee vurld!. Oonce-a zeere-a, zeey begun svermeeng oooot intu zee streets, und spreedeeng ecruss zee keengdum. Nu plece-a ves seffe-a frum zeem, und Melkur is cunfeenced thet Semmerun is zee coose-a.

Semmerun eccepted respunseebility, und toorned zee heemselff und zee scrull oofer tu hees mester. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Zee mester furced Semmerun tu jueen heem stoodyeeng zee scrull tu feend a sulooshun. Veell zee feex tu zee brukee spell cume-a tuu lete-a? Veell zee Relly et zee pellece-a help tu strengzeen zee keengdum? Veell Mester Yussep be-a eble-a tu treeen un ermy in teeme-a? Oonly teeme-a veell tell.

Erchbeeshup Teem feeled zee fullooeeng cumpleeent veet hees Insoorunce-a Cumpuny:

Effter zee [setoordey] perty begun trefeleeng vest, in seerch ooff Meenneepulis, zeey incuoontered a ver perty thet ves heresseeng sumeune-a in a cefe-a.

Zee perty, zeen deed zeeur guud deed fur zee dey, und slooghtered zee ver bund. Bork bork bork! Celleeng intu zee cefe-a, zee gruoop heerd fueeces celleeng zeem in. Bork bork bork! Theenking better thun tu velk intu a trep, a ruck ves tussed in (pleenk, pleenk, thoonk?). Renerd vundered in tu feend oooot vhet zee ruck hed buoonced ooffff ooff. Es he-a bent tu peeck it up, he-a luuked up intu zee snerleeng muoot ooff a verooulff!

Effter regeeening, hees cumpusoore-a, he-a und Serepheena spuke-a tu a sleemy indeefidooel oon zee oozeer seede-a ooff a furce-a vell, nemed Eergoos. Um gesh dee bork, bork!

Effter deesintegreting zee furce-a vell, Eergoos infeeted zee perty tu deenner. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Oofer deenner zeey leerned thet he-a ves zee leeder ooff a gruoop ooff merceeneries celled "zee Peck" cunseesting ooff a fempureec helffleeng rugooe-a, a seemeengly hoomun (thuoogh fery unffreeendly) hoomun rugooe-a, a verooulff rugooe-a, a derk ilff veezerd, derk ilff clereec, helff boogbeer berbereeun, und Eergoos heemselff (a veezerd/elchemeest).

Eergoos determeened thruoogh a sereees ooff qooesshuns thet zee gruoop ves nut elleeed veet Reetun (vhu hes poorsooed zee Peck fur a decede-a), und ooffffered zeem cuntrected puseeshuns in zee Peck. Semmerun ves zee furst tu seegn, vheele-a zee oozeers reffoosed. Bork bork bork! Renerd, svurn tu deffend Semmerun hes nu chueece-a boot tu gu elung oon hees meessiuns, und Lung Tvun, zee semooreee ooffffered hees serfeece-a veet un ooet (vheech hes heem hunur-buoond tu zee peck). Zee rest ere-a joost elung fur zee reede-a.

Thet neeght, zee peck trefeled tu zee Munestery ooff Yussep (vhere-a Lung Tvun ves reeesed), tu meet zee mester, zeeur cuntect fur vurk. Mester Yussep verned thet a noo megeecel erteeffect thet Reetun hed oobteeened vuoold elloo zee Peck tu be-a trecked unyvhere-a zeey vent, und mey ifee jeuperdeeze-a zee seffety ooff zee munestery. Bork bork bork!

Eergoos sent zee perty tu gu intu toon, inffeeltrete-a zee pelece-a, und retreeefe-a zee megeec svurd frum zee ruyel treesoory. Bork bork bork! Thruoogh a clefer, thuoogh loocky, sereees ooff ifents zee perty retreeefed zee svurd, und isceped toon veet zee help ooff Reetun und hees epprenteece-a. Zee svurd ves pleced in zee munestery besement, vhere-a it vuoold be-a seffe-a.

Zee next veek, Semmerun heeded fur zee munestery leebrery. Bork bork bork! He-a ves durected tu zee besement. Um de hur de hur de hur. Effter beeeng cunffoosed, und hoomeelieted by a sereees ooff munk tests, he-a fuoond zee leebrery. Bork bork bork! Effter a vheele-a ooff reedeeng, he-a ves deestrected by strunge-a nueeses, und greee leeght deeper in zee besement. Um de hur de hur de hur. Vheele-a heedeeng tooerd zee leeght, he-a recugneezed zee imege-a ooff zee svurd zeey hed retreeefed, und berely mede-a oooot zee ooootleene-a ooff a hooge-a fece-a... Flooffffy, zee pet terresqooe-a.

Oonce-a dregged beck tu zee soorffece-a, Semmerun "refeefed", chunged rubes, und jueened zee perty fur a trek iest, tu zee "greet leebrery". Et zee leebrery, Reetun met zee perty. Bork bork bork! Hees gooerd recugneezed Serepheena frum zee neeght ooff zee zeefft, und zee perty ves errested. Bork bork bork! Furtoonetely, zee peck set in heeding, und bruke-a zeem oooot in zee meeddle-a ooff zee neeght. Um de hur de hur de hur. Oonce-a beck et zee heedeuoot cefe-a, zee gruoop run intu zee cummunder ooff zee gooerds frum zee jeeel (un 18t lefel feeghter!). Oon zee cummund frum Renerd, Thedeoos (zee gruoops pseeun) stoonned zee cummunder, zee fempureec helffleeng rugooe-a hugteeed heem, Semmerun coorsed heem, und zee perty run evey. Bork bork bork!

Zee next teeme-a zeey vuoold see-a heem, he-a ves nu lunger a cummunder in zee ruyel meellitia. He-a insteed teemed up veet oold cumrede-a, Renerd. Bork bork bork! He-a tuld thet Reetun knoo zee vhereebuoots ooff zee svurd, und thet zee munestery ves es guud es gune-a (es 2 uneets vere-a sent tu retreeefe-a zee item). Zee perty oonce-a egeeen dunned zee gooeese-a ooff herues, und rooshed tu zee eeed ooff zee munestery, boot oonly tuu lete-a. Reetun hed retreeefed zee svurd, und oordered zee temple-a boorned. Bork bork bork! Zee perty erreefed tu a creter, und zee 2 uneets ooff suldeeers peelleging zeeur heerts oooot. Um de hur de hur de hur. In a mere-a 3 ruoonds ooff cumbet, zee inemy (13 lefel 1 suldeeers, led by a lefel 10 veezerd, und a lefel 16 rugooe-a) ley deffeeted. Bork bork bork!

Zee svurd is beck in Reetuns hunds, und zee perty cun noo be-a trecked iffffurtlessly, vhere-a ifer zeey gu. Yussep leefes, boot hees munestery, und ell hees stoodents ere-a gune-a. Sgt. Um de hur de hur de hur. Benur, heru ooff zee "Lefft Hund", is lefft un ooootlev. Teemoos, zee yuoong clereec vhu hes helped zee perty frum teeme-a tu teeme-a, hes seee hees mester cummeet un ect ooff treesun, und pluns tu tell zee keeng... iff Reetun veell permeet it. Um de hur de hur de hur. Zee vhule-a vurld is felleeng epert eruoond zee perty, und ifery mument thet zeey rest, zeey veell hefe-a tu luuk oofer zeeur shuoolders. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Next veek... theengs getteeng ifee tuoogher. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp!